Wednesday, May 1, 2013

How to be a Grown-up, Part I

Sometimes I feel like there should be a manual for how to be an adult.  Since no one else seems to have produced this, I plan to do it someday.  Here's part of what my manual will include:

At the grocery store

Sometimes it's okay to divide produce; other times it's not.  


So you only want three bananas and there's five in the bunch?  Cool, pull off the three bananas you want.  However, if you only need one stalk of celery for your recipe, don't just rip off one piece and head to the check out, because your mom is probably going to mock you for the rest of your life and the check out clerk will likely be confused and say, "uh, I don't really know what to do with this.  I think I'll just give it to you as a sample."  And you will feel dumb.  So don't attempt to divide celery. (Age I learned this lesson: 19)

At home


Sheets not only come in different sizes, they come in different heights too!

You probably learned about different sheet sizes before you left for college.  They probably told you to get twin XL sheets for the dorm room- not just twin size!  But who knew there was such a thing as "deep pocketed sheets" and that those were what fit a pillow-top mattress??  (Okay, my mom, apparently.)  So while you may feel proud of yourself for purchasing your very first mattress, make sure to get sheets that will fit (and won't keep popping up over the side of the mattress when you roll-over).  Macy's tells me the following:

Sheet Pocket* Size:           Mattress Height:
Standard                            7-12 inches
Deep                                 13-17 inches
Extra Deep                        18-25 inches

*"Pocket" refers to the space created at each corner of a fitted sheet that lines up with the corner of the mattress.

(Age I learned this lesson: 28; Years with my mattress before I learned this lesson: 3)



If you get a W2 Form or if you received a paycheck during the year, you have to pay taxes.


Okay this one may sound obvious to you and me, but some young adults still haven't figured this one out (cough cough, my sister, cough).  If that W2 form shows up in your mailbox (or gets sent to your parents' house) don't ignore it.  I'd recommend just doing Turbo Tax (I've filed with them every year- even when I had to submit for three different states- and they make it a piece of cake!)  Or ask your parents to help.  But sticking your head in the sand like an ostrich will only mean you have to pay more taxes (or a fine!) when the IRS finds out what you're doing.  (Age my sister learned this lesson: 21).  

What's something you've learned the hard way that you felt someone should have taught you?


  1. Having children is hillarious. Age I learned that 64.

  2. I thought I had a brilliant idea two months ago when I decided to recycle my egg boiling water for watering my plant instead of the usual soaking dishes. Little did I stop to think that warm water kills plants...